Ashley E. Kingsley

Posts Tagged ‘Life’

Private Life and Social Media

In App Technology, Facebook, Fail Whale, Leadership, New Media, Nimble, Social Media, Twitter, Women in Tech on August 21, 2009 at 10:44 pm

KeyholeSocial media, (#SM) since I started using it back in 1998 has evolved exponentially.  This is not news.  People have gravitated to multiple  SM vehicles over the years. Sites such as MY SPACE, FACEBOOK, LINKED IN, TWITTER, and DIGG to name a few.  It seems just in the last few years the term SM has exploded and everyone is either a guru or a maven, or wants to be.

Everyone is using it. TWITTER is no longer for the birds. BLOGGING is a mainstream term and everyone has one.  SM as its own department is a growing trend in large and small corporations across the globe.

This is a shift. People finally understand the value of communications, mass listening, monitoring, and connection via SM. It’s powerful. Ahh, how refreshing;  we are getting to the same page.

Now, how do SM and private life intersect.  That is the question. This is my opinion.

Many choose to keep their online lives separate from their professional lives. This is common. After all, do you really want your boss to see your private goings on via your FACEBOOK page?  Most of you will say, “hell no!” I disagree.

I choose not to ‘hide’ my online presence from anyone. I am not afraid to show the dimensions that are ME.  I am human. Many would argue that people will not want to hire me because I have blogs under my name about MISCARRIAGES, health concerns, life in general, and oh, yeah, I use profanity.  I think this is small mindedness.

We are all multi-dimensional creatures with  access to amazing tools and devices that allow us to connect in real time with people all over the world. We all have private lives as well as professional lives; but dividing them would be a shame.  I choose to be ME online and off.  This is who I am and this is who you are going to get.  What a loss for so many if you have to hide half of who you are in the work place?  Sad, really.  I must admit, this has been a struggle for me as I would imagine it would be for many.

WHY I CHOOSE TO BE OPEN WITH PRIVATE LIFE AND SOCIAL MEDIA

What if you could connect via common themes with people that have NOTHING to do with business, or vice versa. Connect with people through business that you wouldn’t have ever met if it were just left to personal fodder? 

SCENARIO

You come across someone on TWITTER or FACEBOOK or what have you. After several TWEETS and POKES you decide to meet for coffee.  Over coffee you realize you could be colleagues, partners, client/service providers or even friends!  How much are we losing out if we keep our private and social lives baracaded? What if we don’t take the risk or being ourselves and putting our best foot forward?

Employers should (SHOULD) recognize that most people have an online presence of some sort and their professional lives are only part of who they are as people.  If you can be who you are all the way through then there are no surprises, right? A wider stream in which to swim and connect with as many fish as possible would behoove us and our relationships; potentially creating life long business partnerships, contacts, customers and need I say it, friends.

Last year I was consulting for a company during the Democratic National Convention in Denver.  It was one of the most important weeks of my life.  I attended a panel on Global Poverty during my lunch hour and I TWEETED about it. Within a few hours my boss called me on the phone and asked where I was that afternoon? *He had a SOUR tone in his voice* and I knew where he was going with it. I replied “I was at a panel about Global Poverty during my lunch hour, why?”  He replied “I saw your TWITTER post and just wanted to ask.”   Well good for him for acting like big brother.  And good for me for being exactly who I am, doing my job and taking my lunch hour to learn about something that is important to me.

HOW

Be honest about your work and operate with integrity and there shouldn’t be anything to worry about.  I managed eleven people during a consulting job and every single one of them is my friend on my FACEBOOK. Does this make me a good boss? Well, I will leave that to you. BUT,  I don’t have my head where the sun doesn’t shine… and I am aware, that yes, in fact, people do have lives outside of work!  I would rather connect on the human level rather than expect my employees or my employers to think I am just a robot.

I am proud of my experiences, my ability to chronicle my life through business, private or both.  Of course Private Life and Social Media intersect. If yours don’t- try it.  If you’re scared of opening yourself up then there is always an option to play it safe and create separate profiles; one private and one public.    Just don’t get confused… someone is always watching, or listening!

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NEGLECT

In Uncategorized on June 9, 2009 at 12:57 am

Woman with Breast

I have turned neglect into an art form.  It had been almost one year since I wrote, anything.  I have handfuls of excuses and even Doctor’s notes to back up my inactivity. But I figure, I’m back now, so let’s move on.

Here is just a lil’ window that will bring us from last July to now, June 8, 2009.

Put house on market and went under contract only after 4 weeks with a full price offer.  Had to wiggle out of sale of house on an inspection item due to an unexpected layoff.

Got laid off October 15th from a job I loved.  I was flourishing in my position as Director of Marketing at COLORADO BIZ BUZZ. They sunk people all over the company and layoffs were swift and awful.  I was a casualty of what everyone else would soon be, corporate greed.   The economy TANKED.  You all know the rest of that story, right?

My father moved in with us in the beginning of November. He was residing in New Zealand and made his way back to Colorado after 4+ years.  He shared a room with our daughter and space was limited.  The day after he landed I found out, after feeling odd for several weeks that I was, indeed, pregnant.

Surprise!  This sunk me. The news shocking and somewhat confusing.  My husband and I rolled with the punch and geared up for what we knew would be a long first trimester and pregnancy as a whole.  I don’t have easy pregnancies (refer to my other blog at MISCARRIAGE ONE TWO MANY).  This was a lot to take in stride.   I was totally side swiped out of my “career” or job and all of the sudden sick as a dog, pregnant and my Dad was living with us. Oh, and I didn’t mention our daughter had just hit the terrible twos.

What I want to share here is not all the angry, confusion.  That was there… no doubt about it.  I felt like I had just got my life steady again after having our daughter and I was loving my job and the community I was building. I liked the prospect of a new, bigger home.   But, someone else had different plans.

I have been on bed rest for the better part of 8 months.  That is a long time.  I haven’t cared much about staying in touch with friends, reading, writing;  pretty depressed.  The light in my day has been our daughter, our dogs and my husband.   I even stopped using TWITTER which was a big deal as that was my main mode of communication for quite some time prior to all of these new life circumstances setting in.

All through my days I would wonder… how can women do this? Have kids, have their careers, deal with the inevitable interruptions and stay balanced and satisfied? How do we make it all fit together in a way that we can make sense of it? This question still plagues me. I am not sure there really is an answer.  The thought of adding another child to our mix was and still is scary to me. What if I suck? What if I can’t do it? What if I lose my mind?  These questions woke me up every morning.  My tummy grew.  The more my tummy grows the lonelier and more trapped I feel in my body.  And then add the guilt in for even THINKING this way… boom! I am an awful person.

I haven’t been able to communicate these feelings very well, or write them down because I have been so withdrawn and scared at the same time, I am mostly frozen.   And with pregnancy, my pregnancies, there are complications.  Let’s just say if there is a small % of getting something…. I get it.  Recently, Gestational Diabetes has found its way into my life and I am not coping well.   What a tricky disease it is.  I write this from a hospital bed, where at 33 weeks pregnant they are trying to get my blood sugar under control because my feeble attempts and loads of insulin are not working.

Scared, torn, confused, you bet.  And learning. Always learning.  Nothing is solved or perfect. But one thing is for certain:  I am having a baby and I am getting more and more excited about his arrival.  I am blessed to have the a beautiful, healthy daughter and husband that I am lucky to call my family.

I am so thankful to have the friends I do, even though I haven’t been the best friend in return: I promise that will change.  I am thankful to have the home I do and the animals I love surrounding me.  The last 8 months, in all the sadness, and wandering I know I am blessed. I don’t ever doubt it.

My attempts at parenthood might stumble from time to time… the idea of a bigger, newer house can chill.  The thought of being a very successful career woman will iron out… I will find it, I know I will.  Being thankful is what I have today and I am eager and impatient indeed to sort of ‘get on with it.’   But I am not controlling the watch right now… so I ticks and passes time and I grasp and laughter I hear in my head and memories of the last several years of my life and how BIG everything has felt.  And how amazing it is to be a MOM already and to get to do it again… through confused… I am certain I have the “the village” around me… and I can’t imagine I will be alone in my parenting stumbles and successes.

On ward… and Up, Up UP!

4 Weeks from today we will hopefully be doing a c-section and welcoming our new miracle into the world. Fingers triple crossed!

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