Ashley E. Kingsley

Posts Tagged ‘Facebook’

Why Social Media Drives Me

In Uncategorized on September 16, 2009 at 1:18 am

Multi taskI was enjoying a day at the Rockies game  doing my usual; multi-tasking. I was watching my TWITTER stream, peering onto the game over my Blackberry, talking to my friend and husband and playing with the kids. Oh, yeah, I was drinking a beer too.  Amused as always with my Twitter stream, I realized it was time to put the phone down and get the kids packed up. They were done, it was the 7th inning.

I had my phone in my hand, baby strapped to the front of me, toddler walking next to me and hubby leading the way.  One quick stop into the loo was all I needed.  And, of course, I left my phone in the bathroom stall.  And the moral of this story – don’t leave your phone in the bathroom stall or someone will take it.  Well, that isn’t really the moral of the story, but a side note.

Within seconds my lifeline was gone. Sound dramatic?  My Twitter stream, POOF!  My Facebook access lost. My phone book, buh-bye. My PHONE, gawn. GAWN!  I panicked and then I became interested in my own physiological meltdown. Well, it wasn’t really a meltdown, but I was having side-effects, seriously.  I felt, lost and dazed.  No, I am not kidding.

I decided, after I talked to the insurance company (yes, I always insure my phones) that since I wouldn’t see a replacement for 48 hours give or take, due to the Holiday weekend that I would experiment with my “need” to always be connected.


I couldn’t believe how ridiculous it was how disconnected I was feeling.  A phone, a blackberry…  some call it an extra appendage… it just didn’t make sense to me why I was feeling so out of sorts?  What is so important ‘out there’ that I was actually missing?  I guessed, probably not much.  I couldn’t check my streams or my friends’ status updates, click through the news or see the latest baseball score.  Big deal, right?


I realized within the first few hours of loss that  my Blackberry had become a ‘tick.’ That’s right, a nervous, boredom, fill-the-time-or-empty-space-moments with noise – other people’s noise, ‘tick.’  It was shocking to me how much I missed clicking between Twitter and Facebook  to see updates, learn, engage and be part of the conversation. The need to be part of all of this, I discovered, drives me.

The need and DRIVE is:  Connectivity. Belonging. A way for me to experience others without having direct person-to-person contact.   This new discovery of mine was not surprising. What was surprising, however,  was how I felt when I didn’t have the option to just ‘connect’ instantaneously.  Isn’t everything, instant? Don’t we function on ‘instant’ now? I do and now I know how important it is to have access, anytime, anywhere.


I missed the feeds and status updates… and then… I kind of chilled.  Don’t get me wrong,  I did “wonder” what was going on when I wasn’t looking or connected.   I realized that time and appropriate USE of my Blackberry was what I might need to pay attention to. If I want to be connected, I could be connected – but I had to make some adjustments.  I hadn’t fully realized how much I was missing outside the stream. I started actually, um, driving my car, listening to NPR again and just being with myself, sans hyper-connectivity.  It was oddly, refreshing.  I took an OATH to stop texting, Tweeting, Facebooking and emailing while driving.  It seems soooo obvious…. I know.   YOU CAN TOO- HERE.  I HOPE YOU DO!


Being disconnected was interesting. I was thankful for the time I got to reflect which is something I am really thankful for. Re-connecting with self is so very important – equally as important as connecting outside of myself. -BALANCE-


I have learned that connectedness isn’t a bad thing. Somehow, I was feeling guilty for being *that girl* that is always Twittering or Facebooking. You know what?  Being part of the stream is important to me. Participating in the conversation is valuable to me.  Listening to others and learning from others is vital to me.  So the appendage stays.

I think using my appendage at more appropriate times is what matters. Maybe cool down on the triple-tasking, perhaps?


Private Life and Social Media

In App Technology, Facebook, Fail Whale, Leadership, New Media, Nimble, Social Media, Twitter, Women in Tech on August 21, 2009 at 10:44 pm

KeyholeSocial media, (#SM) since I started using it back in 1998 has evolved exponentially.  This is not news.  People have gravitated to multiple  SM vehicles over the years. Sites such as MY SPACE, FACEBOOK, LINKED IN, TWITTER, and DIGG to name a few.  It seems just in the last few years the term SM has exploded and everyone is either a guru or a maven, or wants to be.

Everyone is using it. TWITTER is no longer for the birds. BLOGGING is a mainstream term and everyone has one.  SM as its own department is a growing trend in large and small corporations across the globe.

This is a shift. People finally understand the value of communications, mass listening, monitoring, and connection via SM. It’s powerful. Ahh, how refreshing;  we are getting to the same page.

Now, how do SM and private life intersect.  That is the question. This is my opinion.

Many choose to keep their online lives separate from their professional lives. This is common. After all, do you really want your boss to see your private goings on via your FACEBOOK page?  Most of you will say, “hell no!” I disagree.

I choose not to ‘hide’ my online presence from anyone. I am not afraid to show the dimensions that are ME.  I am human. Many would argue that people will not want to hire me because I have blogs under my name about MISCARRIAGES, health concerns, life in general, and oh, yeah, I use profanity.  I think this is small mindedness.

We are all multi-dimensional creatures with  access to amazing tools and devices that allow us to connect in real time with people all over the world. We all have private lives as well as professional lives; but dividing them would be a shame.  I choose to be ME online and off.  This is who I am and this is who you are going to get.  What a loss for so many if you have to hide half of who you are in the work place?  Sad, really.  I must admit, this has been a struggle for me as I would imagine it would be for many.


What if you could connect via common themes with people that have NOTHING to do with business, or vice versa. Connect with people through business that you wouldn’t have ever met if it were just left to personal fodder? 


You come across someone on TWITTER or FACEBOOK or what have you. After several TWEETS and POKES you decide to meet for coffee.  Over coffee you realize you could be colleagues, partners, client/service providers or even friends!  How much are we losing out if we keep our private and social lives baracaded? What if we don’t take the risk or being ourselves and putting our best foot forward?

Employers should (SHOULD) recognize that most people have an online presence of some sort and their professional lives are only part of who they are as people.  If you can be who you are all the way through then there are no surprises, right? A wider stream in which to swim and connect with as many fish as possible would behoove us and our relationships; potentially creating life long business partnerships, contacts, customers and need I say it, friends.

Last year I was consulting for a company during the Democratic National Convention in Denver.  It was one of the most important weeks of my life.  I attended a panel on Global Poverty during my lunch hour and I TWEETED about it. Within a few hours my boss called me on the phone and asked where I was that afternoon? *He had a SOUR tone in his voice* and I knew where he was going with it. I replied “I was at a panel about Global Poverty during my lunch hour, why?”  He replied “I saw your TWITTER post and just wanted to ask.”   Well good for him for acting like big brother.  And good for me for being exactly who I am, doing my job and taking my lunch hour to learn about something that is important to me.


Be honest about your work and operate with integrity and there shouldn’t be anything to worry about.  I managed eleven people during a consulting job and every single one of them is my friend on my FACEBOOK. Does this make me a good boss? Well, I will leave that to you. BUT,  I don’t have my head where the sun doesn’t shine… and I am aware, that yes, in fact, people do have lives outside of work!  I would rather connect on the human level rather than expect my employees or my employers to think I am just a robot.

I am proud of my experiences, my ability to chronicle my life through business, private or both.  Of course Private Life and Social Media intersect. If yours don’t- try it.  If you’re scared of opening yourself up then there is always an option to play it safe and create separate profiles; one private and one public.    Just don’t get confused… someone is always watching, or listening!

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